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Alex Riffs on “Julius Caesar”
This play takes place in 2012 in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Alex Don Baron, an aging Shakespearean actor, returns to his London flat to
escape flooding in his New York City brownstone. Having stayed sober for five years, he hopes to resurrect his career on the London stage. When he finds his scrapbook he looks at
old photographs, remembers the parts he played and gives Shakespeare’s dialogue his own twist.
In this scene Alex reminisces on playing Caesar and makes playful fun of
the lines.
In light of today’s political news and controversy surrounding New York City’s Shakespeare in the Park’s recent production of “Julius
Caesar” depicting Caesar as Trump, the story of Caesar hits a hot spot.
ALEX
After I played the Hector, I was cast in “Julius Caesar” both as general and the assassin. I played Caesar and Brutus. That
didn’t require much change in psychology– just a bit of Sash changes.
(Alex takes a white toga and two sashes off the
rack – one red and another purple and gold.
He strips to his underwear and examines them.)
I always wore jockeys under my toga.
For Caesar I wrapped it this way.
The play opens you may recall when Caesar, his wife and Marc Anthony return from the races – a sport to
celebrate Caesar’s victory over his rival Pompey. He insults his wife’s sterility - because it is macho for a man to insult his wife’s sex before he seeks a
crown. At the same time he validates Marc Anthony’s virility.
Forget your speedos Antonius? Touch Calphurnia; for our elders say the barren touched in this holy chase
shake off their sterile curse.
Of course Caesar assumes she is sterile not him. Maybe latex reduced his sperm count.
For Brutus – like this. I played him for the brute he was
- ass – ass – inating the Great Caesar by plunging a knife in him along with other senators - his con– spir–actors.
The play is historical and fore – stor – ical. An ambitious dictator is overthrown for ideological reasons after which a more
dangerous tyrant rules.
Look at the French Revolution
After King Louis XVl is guillotined
The Revolutionary Tribunal governed in a Reign of Terror
Then Napoleon took over and declared himself emperor.
In Russia
After the Revolution the Socialists killed the Tsar and his family
A civil war followed
When Lenin died Stalin took power and became an evil tyrant.
Today – Egypt, Libya and Syria are in different stages of the same cycle. Shakespeare claimed no right or
wrong. He just made a shrewd study of politics - where those in power make their own rules – and those beneath are jealous.
Here - Cassius describes Caesar:
Why, Caesar, he doth bestride the narrow world like a Colossus,
And we petty men walk under his huge legs and peep about his hairy balls
To find our leader is dishonorably
unclothed. Men at times are masters of their briefs
The fault, dear Brutus, is not with the autocrat
But in the Laundromat. - or bikini wax.
Caesar ignored the soothsayer who said, “Beware the tides that wash.”
I never played Marc Anthony. I wasn’t good looking enough. But I did memorize his
speeches.
When Marc Anthony sees Caesar slaughtered, bleeding on the senate floor he cries – First they stabbed him
Then they covered him with loincloths
O mighty Caesar – Dost thou be so low?
Are all thy conquests, glories, triumphs, spoiled? Shrunk to this little measure.
Fare the well.
I know not - gentlemen - what you intend
Who else must be left buff? Who else is rank?
As for myself
There is no jock strap I could not fill.
Marc Anthony then goes
to the Forum to address the Roman crowds. Friends, Romans, countrymen – lend me your thongs
I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him
The evil that men do lives after them
The good is oft interred in their underthings.
So the senators brought Caesar to the Laundromat
To cleanse Rome of an autocrat
But he was forewarned When the soothsayer said, “Beware the tides that wash.”
“When beggars die there are no comets
The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.”
Some say Shakespeare wasn’t Shakespeare, that he
was Francis Bacon.
Bacon worshipped Athena, the
Greek Goddess of wisdom, who shook her spear. Well the man who said this wasn’t shaking.
“The gods do this in shame of cowardice:
Caesar should be a beast without a heart
If he should stay at home today for fear
No, Caesar shall not
Danger knows full well
That Caesar is more dangerous than he:
We are two lions litter’d in one day,
And I the elder and more terrible:
And I shall go forth.”
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