What
if we live on a planet
in this interminable,
indeterminable
universe, that is one
and only one of a kind,
unique…? What if
what we can see with
our eyes, our solar
system and
constellations of
stars, is the extent of
the physical universe
and the rest, the
galaxies, the nebulae,
the black holes, the
endless points of
light, is simply
interpreted and
interpolated digital
illusion created by
Hubble and Webb? What
if the ancients were
right and Star Trek was
wrong? What if Charles
Darwin was right and
the scribblings of
frightened,
mal-educated,
small-minded people who
created bibles and
scriptures are wrong?
Absent gods and saviors
and multi-universes and
enlightenment and
heavens and hells and
spitiual this and that,
what does that make our
planet and us on it?
Are we less with the
awakening that this is
all there is, or are we
living gods with the
desire and ability to
extrude illusion, put
it on film, and give it
a life of its own? Is
the arc of our story a
full circle and are we
headed forward to the
beginning?
~
He was an old man. She
was an old woman. One
day, he couldn't
remember his name. It
went on for days. And
then... she
couldn't remember
hers. They simply could
not remember their own
names! It was mildly
disturbing like a wind
in the house with all
the doors and windows
shut.
So... each wrote the
other's name on a
paper bracelet and wore
them all day and all
night. The wind was
still there. Her name
on his bracelet was
"Betsy." He
didn't know if this
was actually her name
because she didn't
recognize it. To help
her, he switched
bracelets. Now the name
on his bracelet was
"Gene." The
wind continued to blow.
They had been together,
for many years. They
had no children and
little contact with any
family since they lived
on the other side of
the country, a side
their sparse families
seldom if ever visited.
Together. They lived
together alone. She had
some money, no need to
work for a living. So
did he. Together they
could not think of any
problems they had in
the bedroom or the
bathroom or on the
porch when the summer
nights were soft and
the trees wind-talked
to each other.
Still... this blankshot
of memory when each
reached for "my
own name", this
absence of a title card
in front of remembered
identity, this was more
than mysterious, more
than unbalanced. He
became uneasy,
uncentered, undoing. He
shifted his balance in
front of a mirror for
long minutes, staring
at his face, staring at
the bracelet on his
wrist, holding it up in
front of the image in
the mirror. He heard
her whisper, stop, it
doesn't make any
difference does it? He
looked at his wrist and
said, no , it
doesn't.
They had a large
garden. They gardened
together. When the
plants emerged and
spread, they walked
together, strolling the
lanes of the garden,
unnavigated, unplanned
walks. If she stopped
what she was doing in
the house to walk in
the garden, he would
stop what he was doing
and catch up to her,
walking along. If they
could only remember
their names. Being
alone would not flush
the skin from flashes
of caution
It rained one day for
long hours. When it
finally lifted, the
house was costumed with
water-drop jewels that
rolled, slipped,
lingered especially on
the windows. They
stayed in bed together
during the long hours,
half asleep, half
awake. Smoothing his
hand over her warm
skin, he said, I
don't really know
who you are. Look at
your wrist, she said. I
mean, he said, without
your name I see a deep
part of you that I
don't know.
It wasn't the same
for her. She knew
him... from his eyes
down through his belly,
down to the rounded
edges of his toes. She
knew his moods, his
desires, his comforts,
his often sleepless
sleep. She knew him
like she knew the
plants in her garden,
down to the roots,
always searching for
light, always searching
for moisture, always
waiting to be consumed.
And she knew... what he
didn't know.
Love... sensual love,
emotional love, love of
body, love of mind. He
loved her all, all. She
loved him all, somewhat
all. Once she asked
him, what causes this
unthinking attraction,
this hypnotic pull
toward one person.
It's complicated,
he said, it lays deep
in the river of our
evolution. Deep in her
river, deep in her
evolution she could not
find it. Can you have
it for more than one at
the same time? He
didn't answer.
They were happy on
their wedding night,
and every anniversary
of that night. Now
another anniversary was
coming and they could
not remember their
names.
He said, I will give
you everything I have.
She said nothing, only
smiled. He said,
I'll give you
everything that is me
and take everything
that is you. There will
be only... we, and no
one else will ever be
part of we. One day we
will fall asleep
together and never wake
up. Her smile faded.
She said, that means we
would cross from white
to black… no
shades or colors in
between. He smiled and
said, the most
dangerous expense of
life.
She touched the bracelet on her wrist.
Another anniversary.
Today it is snowing, a
fluffy, white cape on
the ground, a necklace
of glistening icicle
jewels hanging from the
trees and bushes, a
faint trace of music in
the wind-talking trees.
She stands in front of
the mirror whispering
her name...
'Betsy'. He is
sleeping. She walks
through the rooms of
the house, stops where
he sleeps. The sun has
quieted the snowfall.
She wraps a warm shawl
around herself, drapes
her bag over her
shoulder and steps
outside on to the white
cape. She begins to
walk through the
sleeping garden, across
the sleeping grass, on
to the road. She looks
back at the house then
at the sun. She begins
to walk down the road.
She never came back.
After two days, he went to sleep and never woke up again.
The arc was complete.
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