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Story-line: Because of a night at the Chelsea Hotel, Jack Kerouac gets involved in a weird plot by Marcel Duchamp against Andy Warhol.
SCENE ONE
The action takes place in a studio at Lexington Avenue, New York. September 1962. In the background, there is a cabinet with some bottles and glasses and a trash can next to it. In the foreground, Andy Warhol (34) is talking with two police officers.
OFFICER 1
Andrew Warhola.
ANDY
(A bit upset.)
Just Andy. My name is Andy Warhol, please?
OFFICER 1
You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. You're being arrested for stealing your own work.
ANDY
Yes. I did it.
OFFICER 1
Has someone else?
ANDY
Of course, I had a partner.
OFFICER 2
What's his name?
ANDY
I don't name names. Never.
OFFICER 1
You know, you will be arrested…/
ANDY
Do you know me?
OFFICER 2
You're the man that paints photos and soup cans.
ANDY
You think that you know me, but…
OFFICER 1
You will talk with our Chief.
ANDY
I need to call my lawyer.
OFFICER 1
It's your right. Go on.
(Andy picks up a phone and dials.)
ANDY
(On the phone.)
Hello! This is Andy. May I please speak to Mr. Kerouac?
(Listening)
Yes. Jack Kerouac.
BLACKOUT
SCENE TWO
(Lights up on the same stage set. A week early. Andy is holding a glass of wine while he arranges some cushions on the floor.)
(Knock on door. Andy goes to door and opens it. Jack Kerouac, 40, enters.)
JACK
Hi!
ANDY
Good to see you.
JACK
How are you?
ANDY
I'm so stressed out.
JACK
What's going on?
ANDY
I'll explain to you. Have a seat, please.
JACK
Thank you.
(Jack sits down on the cushion.)
JACK
Can I have a drink?
ANDY
Of course. Wine or Scotch?
JACK
Scotch, please.
(Andy picks a glass, pours whiskey into the glass and gives it to Jack.)
JACK
Thanks. Cheers.
ANDY
Cheers.
(They toast.)
JACK
Mark told me about your call. What's the matter?
ANDY
You're a good friend of Sophie O'Dario, huh?
JACK
Yeah.
ANDY
Tell me about her.
JACK
Well, she's… she's… a nice girl. Sophie has been very kind to me. Why?
ANDY
She bought a work of mine.
JACK
I know. The Nude of Marcel Duchamp. You've had a new treatment.
ANDY
Yeah. I did that. But, I'm completely regretful.
JACK
Why? You have built a deconstruction.
ANDY
I know, but it's out of my proposal. Duchamp differs greatly from Campbell.
JACK
Maybe.
ANDY
I took a picture of the Nude and created a frame. In fact, a colored frame.
JACK
Then, that's right. You're making your proposal popular art.
ANDY
Duchamp isn't soup, man. Did you understand that?
JACK
I don't care what you think about him. What do you want from me?
ANDY
I need to get my work back.
JACK
Talk to Sophie.
ANDY
I did. She didn't want to resell.
JACK
Then, case closed.
ANDY
No, no, no. The case is not closed.
JACK
What are you talking about?
ANDY
I sold for three grand. And I wanted to buy for five grand. But she declined my offer.
JACK
And what can I do for you?
ANDY
Help me to get my painting back.
JACK
How?
ANDY
Stealing it.
JACK
What the fuck do you want?
ANDY
I want you to take me to her house. And while you talk to her, I get my work.
JACK
Are you crazy, man?
ANDY
Easy, Jack. I will take my work and leave a payment of five grand. It will be a forced sale.
JACK
No way. It's a heist. I'm a writer and not a burglar. Try to make a deal, huh?
ANDY
I already said to you. She rejected my offer.
(Silence.)
JACK
Ten grand.
ANDY
What?
JACK
You could offer ten grand.
ANDY
Never.
JACK
She refused five thousand. Ten would be fine. Talk to her.
ANDY
No, no, no. I don't want any deal with her.
JACK
I don't know what to say.
ANDY
I know, she loves the painting, but…/
JACK
Forget this bullshit, man.
ANDY
I hate that piece. I don't want that crap anymore. I need to shatter that thing.
JACK
You cannot hope for anything from me. I'm out.
ANDY
Your job is just to take me into her house.
JACK
No way. I gotta go.
ANDY
Don't go. Stay.
JACK
It's crazy. Bye.
(Jack is leaving.)
ANDY
Stop. Please. Stop.
(Jack stops.)
ANDY
Listen to me. I need to tell you something. Maybe, you would change your mind.
JACK
What?
ANDY
I have a key.
JACK
A key? Which key?
ANDY
Chelsea Hotel.
JACK
What do you mean?
ANDY
I've got a key for the room 99,5.
JACK
(Digesting the news, then…)
What the fuck are you talking about?
ANDY
The key from room 99,5 at the Chelsea Hotel. I've got it. I won the key on a secret night. Do you know about these parties, huh?
JACK
(Excited.)
Of course. Is it true? The key?
ANDY
I'm not bluffing. I can give it to you.
JACK
Oh, man. It's a legend. It doesn't exist.
ANDY
Yes. I've got the key.
JACK
You're kidding.
ANDY
Of course not.
JACK
Oh, my God! It's unbelievable.
ANDY
Think about it. You can get into into room 99.5 of the Chelsea Hotel.
JACK
I-I-I don't know.
ANDY
Take the key and get the best experience of your entire life.
(Silence.)
JACK
What I have to do is to get you inside Sophie's house, huh?
ANDY
Yeah. Just do it. Look, I've painted that crap. I'll pay ten grand for it.
JACK
Ten thousand? Really?
ANDY
Yes. I'll get the painting, and I will leave the money.
JACK
But if she sees you are getting the piece.
ANDY
She will not. You will distract her. That's why I need you.
(Silence.)
ANDY
I think Sophie will be delighted. She paid three thousand, and she gets ten. It'll be a great deal.
JACK
Man, you're a fucking-crazy-man.
ANDY
Jack. I beg you. Only you can get inside her apartment. Help me and you will have the room's key. All your dreams will come to life.
JACK
I don't know.
ANDY
It will not be a heist. It'll be a business, a bit forced, but it's a business. I'll assume all things. You never will be charged. Sophie needn't know that you had helped me. I swear to you, Jack. I will never reveal the fact.
(Jack thinks for a moment.)
JACK
Lemme see the key.
ANDY
Right.
(Andy goes to a cabinet, opens a drawer, picks up the key, and hands it to Jack.)
ANDY
Here.
(Jack examines the key.)
JACK
It's wrong, but it's irresistible.
ANDY
(Excited.)
Yes!
JACK
First of all, I want you pay… well… lemme see… fifteen grand.
ANDY
What?
JACK
You can get that… or… no way.
ANDY
Have you lost your mind? Fifteen?
JACK
Alright. I gotta go.
ANDY
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
(Thinking about.)
All right, all right. I agree.
JACK
Fifteen grand?
ANDY
Yes.
JACK
Then fine. Look, I've nothing to do with all this shit.
ANDY
Jack. I promise you. My word, my world.
JACK
OK. I'll talk to Sophie so we can visit her.
ANDY
I love you.
JACK
Give me the key.
ANDY
I'll go with you.
BLACKOUT
SCENE THREE
(Lights up on the stage. It is a room on the ninth floor in the Chelsea Hotel. A beautiful woman is sitting behind a desk. Andy and Jack enter the room.)
WOMAN
Can I help you?
ANDY
Yeah. He will stay in room 99,5.
WOMAN
Wow!
(To Jack)
You know our rules?
JACK
No.
ANDY
I've already explained some rules to him. Just a few…
WOMAN
Right.
(She hands a booklet to Jack.)
JACK
Thanks.
(Jack reads the booklet.)
ANDY
(To Jack.)
Who will be your choice? Shakespeare? Maybe James Joyce? Or Poe?
JACK
No.
ANDY
Remember, it will be your only chance to meet someone.
JACK
Yeah, I know. I want to see my father.
ANDY
Really?
(Jack nods to Andy.)
ANDY
Alright. I respect you.
(Jack hands the booklet to her.)
WOMAN
(To Jack.)
Ready? You need to sign this.
(She hands a paper to Jack. He picks it up, reads quickly, takes a pen from the pocket, and signs it. Then, he hands the paper to her.)
WOMAN
(Picking the paper.)
All right.
(Stands up.)
Follow me, please.
JACK
Yeah.
ANDY
(To Jack.)
Good luck. And thanks for helping me.
(Jack and Andy say goodbye with a hug.)
(The woman leads Jack to a door. She opens the door, and Jack goes into the room.)
ANDY
(To himself.)
I knew it. He's is a romantic guy.
BLACKOUT
SCENE FOUR
(Lights up on Room 99,5. Jack is sitting in front of Leo Alcide Kerouac, 57. They look at each other in silence for a few moments.)
LEO
The worse sound of life is silence.
JACK
I didn't call you to talk about silence.
LEO
Then, what's the matter? Say something, please.
JACK
I don't know how to start.
LEO
Alright. My time is eternal.
JACK
I-I-I come here to ask you.
LEO
Go on. I'm ready.
(Silence.)
LEO
What do you want?
JACK
I don't know. Maybe… I need to understand some stuff.
LEO
That's right. I'll listen to you.
(Silence.)
JACK
Why?
(Jack hesitates but soon shoots out.)
JACK
Why did you always like my brother more than me?
(Leo thinks about it and soon laughs.)
JACK
Share the joke.
LEO
Oh, boy!
(Leo stops laughing.)
LEO
I don't believe that you're asking for this crap. You're a poet, aren't you?
JACK
So…?
LEO
A real poet never would ask this shit.
JACK
What do you mean?
LEO
You're a mediocre poet.
JACK
I've published some works.
LEO
All shit.
(Silence.)
JACK
I would like to talk about my brother.
LEO
Why?
JACK
Because I need that.
LEO
I don't know what to say.
(Breathing heavily.)
Well, he was a talented boy. If he had a chance to live, he would be a great writer with a sophisticated imagination. Much better than you.
JACK
Why did you hate me so much?
LEO
Waita minute. I don't hate you.
JACK
After Gérard died, you became another person. You had begun to despise me.
LEO
Never. It just exists in your head.
JACK
Leo, I'm not guilty for Gérard's disease. You got furious at me because of that. I never understood that.
LEO
Bullshit.
JACK
I suffered too much. I loved him. My world has never been the same.
LEO
(Very sad.)
Stop it. Stop it.
(Silence.)
JACK
Have you seen Gérard?
LEO
What? What're you talking about?
(Silence.)
JACK
I've my brother in my head. He will always be an angel. When we meet in heaven, we will be happy. If I get there to heaven, I mean.
LEO
You-You've always got your mind on the moon.
JACK
Oh, my God! You never will change.
LEO
Shut up.
JACK
I have nothing more to say.
(Silence.)
LEO
Anyway, my response is not.
JACK
What?
LEO
I never see your brother. My Gérard. Maybe he's in Paradise, while I'm on the opposite side.
JACK
I gotta go.
(Jacks stands up to leave.)
JACK
Bye.
LEO
See you later.
JACK
In hell?
LEO
Maybe. Who knows?
(Jack is leaving.)
LEO
I never liked your mind, but I always loved your heart.
(Jack thinks about it, waits a moment, and then leaves.)
BLACKOUT
SCENE FIVE
(Lights up on Andy's studio. We go back to Scene One. Andy is talking on the phone. The two police officers are in the same positions, too.)
ANDY
(On the phone.)
Jack? It's me. Andy. What happened? Did you pay Sophie?
(listening)
Then, what the hell did that bitch do to me? The police are in my house.
(listening)
I'm being arrested. I need you. Can you come here now?
(listening)
I need to talk, please.
(listening)
Good. I'll wait you.
(listening)
All right. All right.
(Andy hangs up.)
FADE OUT / FADE IN
(Lights up on Andy's studio. Andy - worried - paces back and forth. The two police officers are staring at him.)
(Knock on door. Andy goes to door and opens it. Jack enters.)
JACK
Sophie is here?
ANDY
Here?
JACK
Yes. I spoke to her. She said she would be here.
ANDY
Really?
(Jack notices the two police officers.)
JACK
(To policemen.)
Hi!
OFFICER 1
Hello.
OFFICER 2
Hi.
ANDY
(To Jack.)
Tell me what happened?
JACK
I don't know. We've got to wait for her. I gave her the check. She got it and said OK. I don't know what happened?
ANDY
Did she say she's coming here?
JACK
Yeah.
ANDY
Oh, boy!
(To Officer 2)
Officer, please, we've got to wait.
OFFICER 2
Right.
ANDY
(To Jack.)
How was your meeting?
JACK
Huh?
ANDY
Your father.
JACK
Never happened.
ANDY
What?
JACK
I don't want talk about it.
ANDY
All right. Sorry to ask.
JACK
We can change our look at the past, but the past will never change.
ANDY
I got it. The experience didn't work.
JACK
Never happened.
(Silence.)
JACK
Where's Sophie? I hope she arrives soon.
ANDY
Me too. I hope she can explain everything.
JACK
Can I have a drink?
ANDY
Yeah! Get it yourself.
(Jack goes to cabinet to prepare a drink, while Andy paces back and forth again.)
(Knock on door. Andy goes to door and opens it. Sophie, 30, enters.)
ANDY
Come in!
SOPHIE
Hi, Andy. Hello, Jack.
JACK
I paid you.
SOPHIE
Easy, Jack.
ANDY
(To Sophie.)
What happened? You discovered the heist. Then I paid you. You agreed. There wasn't a crime. Why are these officers arresting me?
SOPHIE
Andy, I want to know about your feeling.
ANDY
Huh?
JACK
This woman is crazy.
SOPHIE
Tell me about your feelings, Andy.
ANDY
What's the matter? Are you a psychotherapist? What about my feelings? Who cares?
JACK
Sophie, you have some weird things. I confess I didn't get it.
SOPHIE
It's simple. Andy Warhol is breeding a new art in New York, right?
OFFICER 1
Pop art.
(Jack and Andy look at Officer 1.)
SOPHIE
Because of that, we all know Andy is an ambitious artist. An artist that wants to experience art in the deepest way, and not just as a moment of contemplation. Then, he needs to live art, dream art, breathe art, eat art, generate art and transform it into his own life, where all he makes is art. There's no life without art.
ANDY
What fucking is that?
SOPHIE
I've got to call someone.
(Sophie goes to door and opens it. She puts her head out and says.)
SOPHIE
Come in.
(Marcel Duchamp, 75, enters.)
SOPHIE
Gentlemen. Marcel Duchamp.
ANDY
Marcel?
MARCEL
Hi everybody.
(Marcel takes cash from his pocket and hands to the two policemen.)
MARCEL
Good job, guys.
OFFICER 1
Thanks, sir.
OFFICER 2
Thank you very much.
(The two policemen leave.)
ANDY
What the fuck is going on?
MARCEL
It was a practical joke.
JACK
Oh boy!
MARCEL
Everything's fake.
SOPHIE
The two policemen are actors from "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum".
ANDY
You're crazies. I-I-I don't know what to say and what to do.
JACK
Nevertheless we understood each other on all levels of madness...
MARCEL
(To Andy.)
Do you still have the painting?
ANDY
No. I smashed it.
MARCEL
Destruction is the best creation. Did you throw it away?
ANDY
No.
MARCEL
Show me the painting.
(Silence.)
ANDY
OK. I'll get it.
(Andy goes to trash can, opens it and picks up the crumpled painting.)
MARCEL
Give it to me.
(Andy hands it to him.)
MARCEL
Thanks. I'll take it.
(Marcel picks the check from his pocket and gives it to Andy.)
MARCEL
Your money.
(Andy takes the check.)
ANDY
Why?
MARCEL
Is it your money?
ANDY
Yes.
MARCEL
So, take it.
JACK
What's the meaning of all this shit?
MARCEL
I wanted that Mr. Warhol could feel the feeling of the art.
ANDY
Huh?
MARCEL
Feel the art to understand the real meaning of it. Art is not about itself but the attention we bring to it.
ANDY
You're a crazy man. And I love it.
SOPHIE
Everything could be art.
JACK
No, no, no. Everything is art.
MARCEL
I don't believe in art. I believe in artists. I believe in you, Mr. Warhol. When Sophie told me about the theft of the painting, I had this idea to place you in a piece of art.
SOPHIE
A practical joke, I mean, a practical art.
MARCEL
What's real? What's phoney? You needed to feel the pain of truth and the relief of lie. Can our art supplant reality?
ANDY
Wow!
(Digesting all of that.)
Wow!
(A beat.)
It was the most exciting experience of my entire life.
JACK
I don't know. But I suppose we couldn't compare it to Room 99,5 in the Chelsea Hotel.
ANDY
(Thinking about.)
I get it! I get it!
(Excited.)
Wow! It's crazy, but it's wonderful. Wonderful!
(Beat.)
Anyway, you give me a great idea.
MARCEL
Really? Amazing!
SOPHIE
What's your great idea?
MARCEL
Can you share it?
ANDY
Of course. I know what I'm going to do.
(Dreaming.)
I will look for a young and talented artist searching for glory, and I will try to make him my piece of work. It'll be a masterpiece of life. The real art!
JACK
Andy, if you get that, I think, you will be world-famous in the future. Maybe for fifteen minutes.
ANDY
(Holding the check.)
Like this check?
BLACKOUT
LIGHTS UP: A Self-portrait by Jean-Michel Basquiat, 1984.
CURTAIN
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