This is officially weird.

I've sworn off Days of Our Lives several times over the last 40 years, but since I dumped my TIVO, I've found HULU.

God, my internet connection and a good set of headphones, and excusing the damn buffering devils, I now have my own private hellish access to the most depraved cesspool of available footage known to poison the mind of a sentient being.

Naturally, I love it.

The familiar faces and voices,

Wait. Sorry, Buffering…

Okay, back again. You see recycled actors from other shows, the vaguely puffy lips from the recent botox, why am I watching this.  I don't even need glasses anymore; I can sit close enough to my laptop that HD is irrelevant.  Of course there's the full screen option, but that would require lights out and full concentration.

If focusing on content is what you're after, yeah, can do that, however the miracle of split screen means that I can actually be typing this at the same time I'm [gasp] watching DOOL.  I only just now figured this out actually.

This makes me so far behind the Blackberry curve, it only ages me more than is already evident by my having watched DOOL since 1970.  As an adult.

O the gray hairs, the lost plot lines.  Mine? Or Corday Productions…

I remember starting my teaching job back in 1979, pre-VCR, and had to quit cold-turkey.  I ended up associating half my students' names with daytime characters.

After I gave birth to my last boy, Ben, there he was snoozing in a little plastic tray next to my bed and what was I doing, between loving gazes at my newborn?  Watching Mickey and Maggie Horton confront the consequences of her alcoholism, complete with the most heart-rending leit-motifs. They don't compose those ditties like they used to, unfortunately.

And I just realized, I've been totally writing through all the 30-second commercials.  Who says your brain can't do more than one thing at a time. Ho! Somebody  on the show just 'googled' something on her laptop.

Too much overlap. Once in a while, like when you're intent on a film and you see your own couch or like an episode of The Shield, for one second I saw a '50's style light fixture in the character's bungalow from just the right angle; exactly the same fixture presently disassembled and lying on my workbench. Whoa.

Oh, I have saved so much time and RSI not  fast-forwarding.

Cool, so now it's on 'continuous' play, that was just a plug for 'green' stuff.  Wait these are 'clips'. I could wake up like Rip Van Winkle on these fuckers.

Mouse hand UP. CLICK on…

O no! Man. Today's episode not up yet.

Damn.

Time for bed.