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It's been a long year

This year, for the first time ever, I just couldn't get into the Oscars. It wasn't just that one of the big winners, "Bohemian Rhapsody," is a movie I will never see, because for me Freddie Mercury and Queen are the musical equivalent of fingernails on a blackboard. It wasn't just that my favorite movie of the past year, "Widows," was passed over completely in the nominations. It's just that a lot of things that used to give me pleasure seem utterly trivial now

You may or may not have noticed, in fact, that this is my first blog posting in a year. Last May 13, I drove myself to the emergency room with an unstoppable nosebleed, to discover that my blood sugar was 401 and my blood pressure was 201/118. That may or may not explain why I haven't been partcularly interested in writing gossip about the movies. It probably does explain why I haven't been interested in writing obituaries, even--especially--of people I particularly admired. And it also probably explains why I haven't written about outrageous political situations or horrible public tragedies, the contemplation of which only caused me to stare further into the abyss.

I was 63 when I was diagnosed. Now I am 64, an age I wondered ten months ago whether I would achieve. This morning my blood sugar was 96 and my blood pressure was 113/75. My weight is 226, down from the 271 it was in late May. I take three different blood pressure medications and two types of insulin, although I have managed with my doctor's help to cut the dosage of one type of insulin by two-thirds. I have changed my diet considerably, and I am living with it, although it hurt yesterday to walk past the entreaties of a Girl Scout troop to buy a box of cookies. I can still have coffee, and I can still have wine, both of which have helped immeasurably, but not nearly as much as the support of my family and friends, which has been my mainstay.

And I still love the movies. It just seems that the prizes matter less. The movies matter, because people matter, and because art matters. Meanwhile, I am more aware of my life as a work in progress. Stay tuned for further details.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 3, 2019 5:28 PM.

The previous post in this blog was #OscarsSoWhat?.

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