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July 2024

The Old Men Monologues - Part II

Les Marcott | Scene4 Magazine | www.scene4.com

Les Marcott


All right, first I would like to thank everyone for showing up tonight. 
I realize it's a little late for some of us guys. However, there is coffee available for those who are nodding off.  But as your activity director, I'm always looking for new ways to get all of you engaged. Yes, it's important to keep the mind sharp, but we can’t let our bodies waste away.  So what I propose is a Senior Boxing League.  Ok, I already hear some grumbling…but please hear me out.  I want to be Burgess Meredith to your Sylvester Stallone.  You've got to get that heart pumping, adrenaline flowing…just do something different good people.  It' s all about exercise, hand eye coordination…jab, jab, punch, punch, and settling scores.  I mean some of you guys don’t like each other.  You’ve been itching to settle some old scores.  Let' s say Frank has his eye on your oatmeal Bob and while you’re not looking he swipes it…or your jello…or your lady friend…just kidding. But you know what I mean.  Let’ s blow off some steam guys!  I realize some of you would just fall down if someone even blew on you.  Ok, that’s what we call, a T.K.O.  Just getting in the ring…smell the sweat and excitement.  For goodness sakes, try something new men!  Who’s with me?


Once upon a time when I had a future, an old distinguished gentleman told me with sadness in his pale blue eyes that one day your youth will vanish. He was such a sage. The years will roll into decades…youll look into that mirror and wonder what the hell happened.  Where did the time go?  The lines on your forehead, the creases on your face, the gray, thinning hair, the stooped shoulders.  You’re just a ghost of the man you used to be.  Were you oblivious to the fact that time has been kicking your ass each and every moment.  And then, once you get over the shock of your appearance, time then starts messing with your mind.  You start playing the what if game.  What if you start thinking thoughts, like – what if you did just one thing different than you actually did.  What if you turned left instead of
right?  Maybe you should have robbed a bank instead of working in one.  What if you had married for money, not love.  Maybe you should have chased that job offer up north, instead of out west.  What if? Maybe you shouldn’t have looked a gift horse in the mouth.  Well, enough rambling…that’s what old men do.  They say youth is wasted on the young.  But they say a lot of things my dear boy. 


Do you know what my favorite words are at this stage of my life?  Nope…its not I Love You.  I’m too old for love.  Happy Birthday?  Pleez…one more candle on the cake?  My favorite words are…get ready…Zero Co-pay.  When I hear that…I’m elated, I even smile, I never smile.  That's a trigger for happiness.  The insurance gods have ruled in my favor.  Its my raison
d'etre.  I’m a whole different hombre.  You see I get all of my meds free…free. Did I say free?  I have extra money now for that senior coffee at McDonalds.  Hell, every now and than I'll spoil myself a coffee au lait at Starbucks.  And…and I might even have enough to splurge on a buffet at the Olden Corral…maybe go to the track.  I’m feeling lucky…(sigh) but not too lucky.  Everything could go sideways.  What the insurance gods giveth, they can take away.  But today, I’m gonna be a high roller, baby.


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Les Marcott | Scene4 Magazine | www.scene4.com

Les Marcott is a songwriter, musician, performer and a Senior Writer and columnist for Scene4.  For more of his commentary and articles, check the Archives.

©2024 Les Marcott
©2024 Publication Scene4 Magazine




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