Hoo, what a day.

While I myself have not had to hurl for a while now since my first trip to the ER back in July, it's a pretty common side effect of chemo. I take an anti-nausea thing first thing in the morning, which helps with some kind of minor dizziness. But holy moly today in the infusion lab I'm sitting across from two youngish ladies. One is being treated. The other is her companion. I'm just sitting there minding my business listening to Jon Stewart on my phone. I look up and companion has taken off like a shot and come back with barf bags and woof. Miss Thing gives a big heave and up chucks right in the bag. There's obvious concern. The nurses come by, quick conference, 15-20 minutes goes by. I'm just about finished with The Daily Show and here comes more retching. Right on cue EMT arrives. Everything is very matter of fact, quiet, efficient. I hear "what is her condition" followed by murmurs of an oncology nature. My doctor shows up because her office is right there in the building, somebody contacted her. I have an enormous wave of sympathy. I mean, I'm so close, just kitty corner right across from the gurney. I think shoot what would be a ridiculous gesture? A peace sign? I love you sign like in ASL? In my mind, I settle on thumbs up.

She never looks at me. As they wheel her away, she's staring at her lap.

* * *

I love a good gadget as much as the next guy, in fact, my oldest son has a habit of spontaneously presenting me with 3-D printed things. I've got whistles that say on one side ICE BLOWS and on the other side have a phone number you can call for help. I've got a replacement tablespoon for the one that snapped in half although you can't put it in the dishwasher cause it'll melt. I've got two phone stands one shaped like a cat and another like a dinosaur. Pretty much anything related to computers or tablets or phones or watches can get gussied up by my in -house IT guy. Turns out though that we have one particular one that is a royal pain. It's supposed to hold the magnetic charging cable for my Apple Watch. Be the first to admit that it's cute. It's apparently a Japanese design? Has these kind of bumpy artifacts on one side. But I swear I cannot make it work. It flops over sideways, it is unstable no matter what I try unless I was to put a bunch of glue down on the table which I'm not gonna do. So last night I must've been tired or something, but anyway I just bungled it. And wouldn't you know I had to get up early and head over to induction by 9 o'clock. Slapped all my appurtenances on like hearing aids and what not including my watch. I got all the way over to the clinic and looked down and my watch is at 5% charge with a blazing red warning. I'm like many folks I count on having something to give me information, it happens to be on my left wrist and I glance down there probably 100 times a day to just check something. And it's an effing smart watch so I can actually answer the phone if I happen to be away from it. But not when it's at 5%! Having a little bit of time to kill, I set about fixing this little annoyance: turn the thing off, right? But no. Apple will not make it easy just one little search for how do I turn my fricking watch off turns out they don't want you to. And I will admit that I have fallen prey to agreeing with my son when he suggests certain things that are supposed to protect seniors I guess that's the idea. The problem is I forget that I have them. I never use them. They're supposed to be like for emergencies and shit. So I'm busy pressing side button for five seconds 10 seconds whatever. Yikes. I suddenly find myself in COUNTDOWN MODE. And if I hadn't been able to hit cancel a couple of times in rapid succession, I don't know what the heck would've happened. It appears that what I did was summon, I don't know? Paramedics? I don't freaking know. All I know is that once I had canceled them these particular alarms warned me that I have to...what? Be careful? Because I am not kidding, it said you don't wanna have to explain this to dispatch. Sounds like a great thing for an anxious senior.

Turns out all I really needed to do was just ignore the stupid smart watch.