The following are two skits that are tragedies disguised as comedies.  Because as the late, great poet T.S. Eliot wrote in Four Quartets, "humankind cannot bear very much reality".  The first piece is connected to the richest and perhaps one of the most powerful individuals in the world and one of his companies that has wreaked havoc on the community where I live.  The second piece deals with the vapid and often meaningless missions of our historical and art related museums.  Enjoy…if you can.

THE EXPLOSIVE ARGUMENT

Characters

Jack: A loyal Propelex employee determined to keep his job at all costs.

Allison: Jack's wife who is frustrated with their deteriorating home.

Scene

The living room of Jack and Allison's house. The walls have cracks, the ceiling is sagging, and random objects are precariously hanging from various surfaces. Jack sits on the couch with a Propelex hat on, scouring messages on his phone.   Allison enters, holding a piece of the ceiling that has just fallen.

Dialogue

Allison: (waving the piece of ceiling) Jack, we need to talk! This house is falling apart! Another piece of the ceiling just crashed down!

Jack: (barely looking up from his phone) Oh, come on, Allison. It's just a bit of minor wear and tear. Nothing to get worked up about.

Allison: (incredulous) Minor wear and tear? The house is practically crumbling! The rocket tests are getting out of control!

Jack: (shrugging) It's all part of the process. Progress comes with a few bumps and cracks... literally.

Allison: (pointing to a hole in the wall) Jack, there's a hole the size of a meteorite in the wall! Our living room looks like a war zone! You need to talk to your bosses.

Jack: (nervously) Allison, you don't understand. If I complain, they might think I'm not a team player. I can't lose my job over this.

Allison: (frustrated) Fine but look around you! How much more can we take? The last launch shattered all our windows.  This is not a handy man project, this is a demolition project!

Jack: (defensive) It's not that bad. (As he says this, a book falls off the shelf and a crack runs across the ceiling.) See? Just needs a few minor repairs.

Allison: (throwing her hands up) Minor repairs? We're one launch away from living under open sky! If you don't talk to Propelex, I'm going to start a campaign to get us hazard pay!

Jack: (sighs) Alright, alright. I'll... I'll talk to them. But just promise not to mention the hole in the wall, okay? Maybe we can call it a new window feature.

Allison: (rolling her eyes) Sure, Jack. Because everyone wants a window that lets in rocket exhaust. Just go talk to them before we end up on the evening news.

Jack: (reluctantly getting up) Again I see nothing wrong, nothing that can't be fixed.

Allison: (smirking) Well…(rumbling noise as house starts crashing down)

Jack: (running away, covers his eyes)  I see nothing!  I hear nothing!

* * *

THE MUSEUM OF NOTHING

Scene: The Grand Opening

(The skit opens with a bustling crowd gathered outside the grand entrance of the new "Museum of Nothing." The curator, dressed in an extravagant costume, stands on a podium ready to address the eager visitors.)

Curator: Welcome, welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of the Museum of Nothing! Please, step inside and feast your eyes on our magnificent displays of... absolutely nothing at all!

Visitor 1: (whispering to Visitor 2) Did I hear that right? Nothing at all?

Visitor 2: (laughing) Yeah, you did. This should be good.

(The crowd enters the museum, and the first thing they see is a large empty room with various frames on the walls, each framing nothing but blank spaces.)

Curator: As you can see, our collection of non-existent art is the finest in the world! Each piece is uniquely blank, allowing your imagination to fill in the void.

Visitor 3: (peering into a frame) Ah, yes, I see a masterpiece here! It's... it's... absolutely nothing!

Curator: Precisely! And here, we have our blank projector screen, showcasing the finest silent films you've never seen.

(The projector whirs, displaying nothing but a blank screen. The crowd nods appreciatively.)

Visitor 4: Remarkable! I can almost hear the silence!

Curator: And if you follow me, you'll find our special exhibit: the Room of Nothingness.

(The curator leads the visitors into a room that is entirely empty, void of any displays or decorations.)

Visitor 5: Incredible! This room really captures the essence of nothingness.

Curator: Indeed. And the best part of our museum? Admission is free because we charge absolutely nothing at all!

(The crowd laughs and applauds.)

Visitor 6: This is absurd, but I love it. Is there a museum for the absurd?

Curator: Oh, yes! Just across the street. It's filled with bizarre and ridiculous exhibits, but here, we take pride in the purity of nothingness.

(The scene ends with the visitors leaving the Museum of Nothing, thoroughly entertained by the absurdity and uniqueness of the experience.)