The blessing: I didn't have to drive In L.A., clean my house or workout. And I had a lot of extra time to read all my back issues of Wine Spectator and Wired and watch the boob tube. I did quite a bit of the latter. How could I pass up a guilt-free opportunity to catch up on some pop culture and rot my brain with too much TV and too many movies?
Whether the material was good, bad or mediocre, what struck a mental note in me for this month's column is that the "romance" part of any given plot almost always lacks understanding of female sexuality and fantasy. Mainstream cinema (and literature) is still dominated by a heterosexual male perspective. Nothing wrong with this perspective, it is full of love and sensuality, but it's more selfish voyeur than giving participant and tends to perpetuate the myth that men know how to satisfy women.
I must inform men of the world that while some of you may have figured it out, most of you don't know dick about vagina. You haven't a clue about how female anatomy works, what to do with it, or what potential could be unleashed if you actually took the time to tap into it. Women are not much better since many don't know their own bodies, haven't explored the limits and so are not informed enough to ask for, show, teach their male counterparts how to do it right. Men and women can both be woefully inhibited and full of misinformation, but since mankind spent so many centuries suppressing female sexuality, the male of our species bears the lion's share of the blame.
So much of the male-female sex myth is the exploitation of the nude female form and foreplay that is designed to lead to intercourse and a man's pleasure. Watching a woman having her breasts poked, pulled and kneaded like dough, sucking on fingers and then screaming in ecstasy after being slammed up against a wall or the odd piece of furniture is supposed to be super hot. Witnessing men engage with nubile females who are obviously much, much younger than them and/or not their social, economic or intellectual equals is supposed to be a turn on. Add the moody soundtrack and show the characters in love and that's all a girl wants, right?
Sure, romance is fantastic. Wild sex is thrilling. What straight woman doesn't indulge in the fantasy of gorgeous, hard-bodied males who are hung like stallions, can fuck for hours and know how to show love in the form of flowers and grand gestures?
But what is more romantic or more sexy than a really good orgasm? All a gal really wants is equal pay for equal work... to have an orgasm every single time she has sex too. Multiple would be even better. And that orgasm requires work and effort and skill and most of the time isn't found at the end of a penis.
And what's with all the objectified girl-on-girl action? I cannot speak for my female-loving kin, but it's no secret that if two women are together, they aren't doing it for a man in the way he imagines and they don't want a man to join in. Men are not the only option. Must be a scary thought for them.
I do like men. I love my husband and he's one of the best human beings, male or female, that I know. I don't want to take away the male version of sexuality, limited as it is. All I want is more of the woman's perspective in sex that doesn't come across as a joke, a situation comedy, an afterthought, a male fantasy, a porno, a little girl's unattainable fairytale or a dirty, provocative sin. A woman's perspective indulged equally. It may be a little strange and different at first, it'll take some time learning how to ride that horse, seeing male naked bodies splashed in the media 24/7, watching women in their sexual prime living out their fantasies without "cougar" or "whore" as the label and maybe finally witnessing how to stimulate and manipulate the female body to HER liking.
A woman satisfied is a woman who is strong, sensual, open and ready for anything. Ready for what you may ask? Men who are willing to bow down to pussy power will find out. Meow.